a sort of personal hell, sitting in that common room, watching Olivia and Catherine make cookies for Dom and Jesse. 

All the while, Will is dying a little, and I am too

because I hate seeing him like this and I’m so very bitter and lonely for the first time on the eve of this holiday. 

I know there was a time when such things were beautiful and inspiring, even when I was alone like I always am, but now it’s just troubling and isolating to be around. 

I can’t.